18-year-old turns down delusional dad's wedding invitation, refuses to forgive him for cheating on her mom: "I refused to be alone with him"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Apr 23, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Being disloyal doesn't just impact the partner that you cheated on, it stains every relationship in your life. Obviously, your partner's family members will want nothing to do with you, but you may also be shunned by your own relatives for your transgressions. Your owns friends will see you in a different light, too. Cheating more often than not comes with deceit, manipulation, and long-term dishonesty. Those are not really qualities most people would want to have in a friend. 
In our story today, a delusional man invites his teenage daughter to his wedding. Considering his marriage with her mom ended because he kept "working long weekends" at the family cabin with several different women, his daughter does not have a very strong bond with her father. Surprisingly, her mom is the one encouraging her to try to make amends with him. However, when the teen takes to the internet with her family drama, netizens give her the courage to decline.

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  • 01

    AITA, Dad cheats and now wants me at his wedding...

    Cheezburger Image 10497061376
    via OlcayErtem from pixabay

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Theres some history so bear with me, around a year ago my father had a health problem and was taken to the hospital. There, my mom went to use his phone to message me updates because hers dd,
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 03
    there she found all the messages he sent to another woman, a couple of them actually. For a few months they tried to work it out, but the man couldn't keep it in his pants for 5 seconds. After that my mom served him.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 04
    During everything we found out he'd slept with multiple of his coworkers, our family friends and more, and that every time he went up to our cabin for work on weekends or during the week, he was with them. And the reason he was always on his phone working, was to text them.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10497061888
    via joseclaudioguima from pixabay

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    Anyway, after the split the divorce was fairly straightforward, he fought for the cabin and my mom took the house for me, he didn't pay any child support at all, but honestly it was whatever, and
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 07
    everyone around us told him not to fight for custody as i was old enough that the court wouldn't listen to him anyway and they didn't, they even laughed at him when he used a free lawyer from his work.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 08
    During the divorce i did spend weekends up at the cabin with him, however as time went on he became more aggressive, not physical or insulting, but just angry at me. Like if i walked alone around a store rather than standing by his side as he texted his
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 09
    new girlfriend, he'd get angry or yell and say i couldn't wander off. Or if i'd refuse to drive to his girlfriend house to grab something he needed he'd get angry. It got bad once where i was walking around a Christmas store because he was standing
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 10
    in the isle for 5 minutes texting her, i said i was walking off, he said okay, and after maybe 10 minutes he came up, grabbed me and yelled about him looking for me and me wondering off. After that i refused overnight visits, and when he got worse during day visits when i'd get picked up, i refused being alone with him.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 11
    Theres a lot more i could say about things he's done, like ignoring or yelling or getting mad at small things and other small stories, but i don't think you guys wanna read a Ibook.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 12
    Anyway, now he wants a closer relationship with me, i try for my mom's sake, the whole "what if he d you might regret it" thing, which i understand where
    via u/
  • 13
    she's coming from with her her relationship with her father who passed. So i text him ever so often when i have the mental energy and i spend in person time with him as long as my friend comes with to feel safe.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 14
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  • 15
    However now he wants more, and he wants more time with just me again, but he never speaks to me about it unless our few times in person but never texts about it after and instead complains to my mom, who ironically says she wants to stay out of our relationship after having me have a relationship.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 16
    The other day he asked if his new girlfriend/fiancee could come to my graduation ceremony, i said very respectfully (i can post the texts if ya'll want) that i only wanted people i was close to and that i would get a set number of tickets anyway so i probably
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 17
    wouldn't have enough, lets just say he didn't respond well and kinda said he'd given me plenty of chances to get to know her and that he prays i'll change and that she's part of my life so i have to have a relationship with her to have one with him.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191

  • It's really surprising the mom wants anything to do with this man who cheated with several women in the family cabin. Encouraging her daughter to have a relationship with him must be really confusing for our protagonist. 

  • 18
    And this wasn't in the message but he's said it many times about how her kids want to meet me and how he always talks about me to them (ages from 3-17) and how i need to meet them ect.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 19
    Even before this i'd been feeling guilty, like i keep doing the wrong thing for not wanting to meet her or her kids and being so uncomfortable and slow with mending our relationship. I feel like it's kind of all my fault.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 20
    Well now, the other day his wedding invite came in and honestly i don't know what to do, it's themed like a barbecue which is funny, but i genuinely don't want to go, i don't give a sh that he's dating
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 21
    someone or marrying her or i'll have step sibling, honestly i'm kinda dissociating all that, and i've not told him to not date or anything and control him, i just don't ever want to meet them. But i feel like if i don't go i'll be a terrible kid and that i'll be the bad guy, i feel like i'm going crazy.
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10497062144
    via Khomulo Anna from annakhomulo

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  • What a nasty piece of work! This wasn't some midnight mistake at a bar, this was a calculated deceit of the whole family that went on for a long time. This selfish dad is delusional to think that his daughter would want to see him with a new partner; she's seen enough!

  • 23
    NTA Auroraburst Also, cutting contact with a manipulative parent is quite freeing. YOU should control the contact at least, he hasn't earned that right. Out if interest though, how old are you? If a legal adult and not reliant on him at all i would just tell him to shove it.
    via u/Auroraburst
  • 24
    Practical_Ocelot2191 OP I'm 18 now, 17 during the start of the divorce. I'm not completely reliant, but it helps to get money for my graduation and schooling from him when he decides to help once in a while
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 25
    karynmills Manipulative parents always act surprised when you stop catering to them. Like bro, you lit the bridge on fire and now you're mad there's no way back?
    via u/karynmills
  • 26
    OkGazelle5400 NTA. He wants you to tell him it was ok he had an affair and it isn't. Stay strong.
    via u/OkGazelle5400
  • 27
    PlayfulBreadfruit708 Decline the invite as you are spending time with your Mom that day. Then take your Mom to a nice restaurant and give her flowers.
    via u/PlayfulBreadfruit708
  • 28
    saran1111 Except don't use Mum as the excuse. That will just stir drama. Declining due to a previous engagement is fine.
    via u/saran1111
  • 29
    ghuntex NTA - you can decide who and where you wanna meet someone
    via u/ghuntex
  • 30
    destiny_kane48 You should give her your Mom's lawyers card. Tell her it's her wedding gift and she'll thank you later when she needs it. Then leave and block your dad. I didn't see anything in your post to indicate that your dad brings anything of value to your life. Honestly he seems to only bring unhappiness.
    via u/destiny_kane48
  • 31
    Practical_Ocelot2191 OP Oh my god that would be amazing, i saw an old video where a lid exposed his nee wife cheating at his wedding after he cheated on their mom, wish i had proof to do the same
    via u/Practical_Ocelot2191
  • 32
    Personal_Conflict_49 Nta. How are you supposed to form a relationship with the new chick and her kids, when your relationship with your father needs serious work first.
    via u/Personal_Conflict_49

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family drama AITAH wedding drama relationships parenting wedding cheating couples cheater love entitled family infidelity daughter Reddit dating Father
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